ABCs of Spiritual Formation: H is for Holding
"Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close."
--Psalm 27:10
H is for Holding
One intriguing feature of the personification of God is his hands. We can't help but picture him with hands given all the bible verses describing them, but he didn't use them to create; he created through speaking. The Bible describes God delivering the Hebrews with his "mighty hand" (Psalm 136:120), but much of the time when the Bible speaks of God's hands it is in the context of giving (generous- see last week's letter) and holding.
GOD HOLDS US
We see this idea of God holding or keeping us repeatedly. It must be important. Let's look at a few examples:
Isaiah 41:10 – “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:13 – “For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you.’”
Psalm 63:8 – “My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.”
Psalm 139:10 – “Even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.”
John 10:28-29 – “I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand.”
BEING HELD - ENCOUNTER
Have you experienced this holding. Our ability to "feel" God's hands holding us is impacted by our early experiences. When a child is hurt and cries and runs to his parent, he longs to be held. This is vital for the child's healthy development. He doesn't need to be cured or fixed or talked to in that moment; he simply needs to be held. When this happens, and the child has a secure attachment, his ability to grow and mature is strengthened. Also, his future capacity to truly experience being held by God increases significantly.
When we suffer, we need to be held. 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 speaks of this when it describes the comfort we receive from God and his people. If we don't know how to be held or don't allow ourselves to be held, we will not be able to suffer well; we will seek other outlets, substitutes, counterfeits for the holding hands of comfort God provides.
Perhaps you have seen people who suffer well, maybe you are one of them. Most likely, you have experienced being held in both tangible and spiritual ways. One of the great gifts we can give those around us is to hold them, literally and figuratively.
HANDICAPPED
Of course, those who have been abused by someone they trusted will struggle with this. Healing is possible, but the process will most likely require patience, perseverance, community, prayer, and often professional help. But even people who have not experienced abuse can struggle in this area. Maybe we weren't held as children for any number of reasons. Perhaps we experienced the trauma of being sick in the hospital, separated from family, or, like in my case, having been adopted at birth. Being held is an area I must work hard to experience. My first response to suffering is not to seek care but to figure out how to handle it alone. I assume others will not want to or be able to help. This is not healthy or mature. I have an idea of where this comes from and am seeking God's healing in various ways.
SIGNS OF MATURITY
All of this is to say one sign of maturity in spiritual formation is the ability to both be held by God and others and to hold those who are suffering around us. For some of us, we feel anxiety when others suffer, and we struggle to just sit with them and not be able to practically help. We don't understand how vital just sitting with and holding them (literally or figuratively- whichever is appropriate) is. Instead, we let our anxiety move us, and we "do something" more for ourselves than for the person. Of course, there is a time for practical care and action, but let's don't miss the important step of being present with those who are hurting because of our own anxieties. Let’s do the work on ourselves so we can be free to serve others in ways best for them.
IMAGINATIVE, MEDITATIVE BEING HELD
If this reveals something in you, seek out how you can grow. The first step is to make space to encounter God in the verses I listed above. Let him meet you. Use your imagination. Picture your body resting in God's mighty and gentle hands; you are totally safe and loved. Take whatever time you need to let God's Spirit minister to you in this way. Then seek out other means of healing available to you.
OPEN HANDS
But before I go there is one more aspect of holding I want to address in terms of Christlikeness. Standing before God with open hands, being willing to not hold on to our stuff. In this sense, the human side of holding, is more about letting go, or at least allowing God to take away what we value.
A sign of growing maturity is spiritual indifference. This is an Ignatian term that is about moving our hearts towards wanting only what God wants for us. When we hear indifference, we may think it means something like apathy or not caring about anything. No. In this context, it means taking the step of holding whatever is precious to us, opening our hands, and telling God we only want what he wants. The key in this is being honest. We may not be able to say that. In this case, a first step is wanting to be able to say it.
WANTING TO WANT
I may pray, "Lord, I know you know what is best, but right now I can only imagine this being good for me, but I want to put it on the altar and trust you. Please move my heart in this direction. Open my eyes to see the Truth and to trust your goodness and love. Increase my imaginative capacity to be able to picture how much greater your glory is than my ideas of the good life." Then I put it on the open-handed altar. This can apply to our good dreams as well as our hurts and desire for revenge. This doesn't mean God will take it away, but it opens me to be able to enjoy it in its proper place in my heart, or for negative things, to be able to let go trusting God to both be just and give me what I need as well. This needs to be a normal practice for us and is about as good a picture of growing maturity and faith as we will find.
GRACE
I pray that all of this and everything I write is seen as invitational. We are wherever we are on our journey of faith, and God is with us in that place. Not experiencing his holding us or not being able to hold others or being close-fisted does not bring condemnation. It just means we are missing out on blessing and God is inviting us to go deeper into him. He is not running ahead of us or expecting us to be further down the road. May we receive all revelation as invitation to more of him. May we not be discouraged but rather encouraged to make space for encountering and enjoying him in community.
"Trust is fueled in our lives as believers when we take those things we don't want to let go over and hand them to a faithful God."
-- Alexa Hess