ABCs of Spiritual Formation: I is for Interior
"For it was you who created my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb."
-- Psalm 139:13
I is for Interior
God is concerned with our whole person which flows from our inmost being. As we grow in Christ, he invites us deep into ourselves, to what the Bible calls our "inward parts" or our "inmost being" or "deep within". You may be thinking of these verses (as well as Ps 139 quoted at the top):
John 7:38 - "The one who believes in me, as the Scripture has said, will have streams of living water flow from deep within him.”
Matthew 7:15 - “Be on your guard against false prophets who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravaging wolves."
FRAMEWORKS
Most frameworks of spiritual growth acknowledge this stage. Early on we are concerned with outward aspects of life. We work hard to get our lives together as we become adults, figure out a career, maybe find a spouse and start a family.
As life settles down, we start asking deeper questions. Often, life doesn't go like we thought it would. We hit a metaphorical wall and are forced to deal with hard truths. This season moves us inward, to our interior being. We realize much of our life has been lived according to forces we were unaware of. Some of it was good and much of it was not. We are falling short of our true selves, and, by God's grace, life is forcing us to reckon with that.
Thus, the process of maturing requires us to deal with our interior. We recognize the impact our family of origin had on us. We see how our early formation set our path for both good and bad. We begin to understand the areas of sand on which we built our world and the idols we have worshipped. This leads us, again by God's grace, into a freefall until we land back on the only firm foundation, Jesus. Then we can begin to reconstruct our lives according to the wisdom we have gained. Of course, this is not a one-time thing but an ongoing cycle that graciously repeats itself as we receive more revelation.
YOU CHOOSE
Yet we are not forced to do this. Many people hit the wall, are faced with these truths, and instead of persevering through the process, they turn back and build areas of security. Instead of going to their interior by God's Spirit, they fall back on systems of control. They build walls to protect themselves and make excuses, forcing everyone to adapt to their needs/ways. This is understandable but sad. Everyone can see it except the person clinging to their safety zone. Individuals do this as do churches/communities. We allow ourselves to be driven by fear and anxiety rather than grace and faith.
Each of us does this to different degrees. God's grace is sufficient in this as well. There is no condemnation, but God is inviting us to go deeper to receive more of him, more freedom, more love. We must pray for people in our lives with the courage to remind us of who we are. We do not have a spirit of fear but of power, love, and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7). Practically, this means we can handle mystery and ambiguity and uncertainty without needing to lash out or exert control or build walls.
INVITATION
I have thought quite a bit about what makes the difference in people with no clear answers. I can only invite you to trust God and see where he takes you on the interior journey.
The Bible makes it clear that our inward parts can be messed up:
Psalm 62:4 - "They only plan to bring him down from his high position. They take pleasure in lying; they bless with their mouths, but they curse inwardly."
Jeremiah 9:8 - "Their tongues are deadly arrows— they speak deception. With his mouth one speaks peaceably with his friend, but inwardly he sets up an ambush."
Proverbs 23:6-7
"Don’t eat a stingy person’s bread,
and don’t desire his choice food,
for it’s like someone calculating inwardly,
“Eat and drink,” he says to you,
but his heart is not with you."
But the verses like John 7:38 which I copied earlier show that Jesus can impact our inward parts as well. We are new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17) with hearts of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). God can do a deep healing work in us, but it normally doesn't happen by chance. He awakens us to brokenness in our souls, then as we seek to deal with it, he provides means for transformation. This may come through confession and repentance in community. It may come from deep healing prayer. Perhaps God will use counseling or different therapies like EMDR. Maybe God meets us in a moment and changes us. Or some testimonies reveal a combination of experiences over time bring about change. But some people share that despite all their prayers and efforts, they don't see any change in glaring areas. This does happen, and we can't say why. God is not a genie, ready to grant all our wishes. He is wise and knows what's best. Also, for most of us, the story isn't finished and so saying God hasn't healed us needs to be followed by a "yet". Even so, our inward parts are deep waters and there will always be more work to be done, yet God is happy to walk the road with us. In fact, the point is not self-actualization, but rather loving God and our neighbor.
PURPOSEFUL
This is not about navel-gazing for navel-gazing's sake. The inward journey when done in faith always leads us to the outward journey, except this outward journey is done from a place of health and faith, allowing us to love those in our circles with kingdom values. We live out of our weakness and God's strength. We understand the upside-down nature of the kingdom and look for the good of others. Gratitude becomes a way of being.
CONCLUSION
In closing, making space to encounter God is part of the inward journey he invites us to take. Life will inevitably throw curve balls that will knock us to the ground. When that happens, God is inviting us to recalibrate and push through to deeper truth. We learn about suffering and perseverance and love in ways we couldn't have otherwise. This inward journey is not an end, but it leads us to love God and others from a place of health and freedom, recognizing more deeply who we are and how much God loves us. May we each step into this journey when the time is right by God's grace and may Focustsoul be a community that helps and encourages us along this path.
"There's a lot of fear connected with the inner journey because it penetrates our illusions. Taking the inner journey will lead you into some very shadowy places. You're going to learn things about yourself that you'll wish you didn't know. There are monsters in there-monsters you can't control-but trying to keep them hidden will only give them greater power."
Parker J. Palmer