ABCs of Spiritual Formation: G is for Generosity
We cared so much for you that we were pleased to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us.
-- 1 Thessalonians 2:8
G is for Generosity
We worship a generous God and therefore becoming like him means becoming generous people. Being a generous person is one of the signs of maturity in Christ. Thus, we can look at generosity as a marker, a revealer, of where we are in our spiritual formation journey.
GOD IS GENEROUS
Let me start with a quick word on God being generous. 2 Corinthians 9:8 says, "And God is able to make every grace overflow to you, so that in every way, always having everything you need, you may excel in every good work." Also, Matthew 5:45 says, "For he [God] causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." And of course, God gave his only Son, Jesus, to redeem us which means according to Romans 8:32, "He did not even spare his own Son but gave him up for us all. How will he not also with him grant us everything?" I could go on and on with passages from scripture, but I think this is sufficient.
So, what do we do with this? Yes, God is generous and calls us to be like him, but what if I'm not generous and what does generous even mean? How do I know when I'm generous enough? I feel these questions. We will address them.
HOW GROWTH HAPPENS – DANCING TOGETHER
Here's the thing, we can take practical steps to break the hold of greed and stinginess, but we must address the root issues. However, how we get to the root issues isn't always so straightforward. Here is what I mean. Let's say I want to grow in intimacy in my marriage relationship. My wife and I could take a class on intimacy or read a book, or I could see a counselor about my intimacy issues. While we are considering these things, we hear about a dance class from a friend and sign up on a whim. We attend the dance lessons and have a great time and hang out more and laugh together and really enjoy being together on the dance floor. We make friends in that world and develop some community. Next thing you know the intimacy in our relationship has deepened. Perhaps it makes sense that doing something like dancing together would deepen intimacy, but in the story, we didn't sign up for dance lessons to strengthen intimacy, and, in the end, it is difficult to say how our intimacy deepened. Most likely, several things were working together including the dance lessons, prayer, awareness, books, community, counseling, and more. Can you see how this fits with the idea of spiritual growth and how often the things we do have effects we can't foresee? In the end, God works in conjunction with our efforts to sanctify us.
[Note: I hesitate to share the illustration above for fear my wife is going to want to take a dance class now! This will be a good test to see if she reads my posts.]
All that to say you can implement some specific steps to work on becoming more generous. Surely, it won't hurt to give more and challenge yourself. Even as I write that I realize I still haven't defined generosity. Please forgive me for assuming. I will go with this definition I found online, "The virtue of giving good things to others freely and abundantly". We often think of money but the generosity we are discussing here includes more of a spirit, an attitude, a way of being, and thus includes all of us. Economic status has no bearing on generosity as Jesus makes clear when he points out the poor widow giving her only pennies in the temple (Luke 21:1-4).
GET PRACTICAL
The challenge comes when we get down to the nitty-gritty. How do I know if I'm generous? As soon as I ask the question, I reveal a poverty mindset. We will get to the practical side, but we need to deal with the anxiety in this question. Being generous is not about making the grade or being worthy or earning or achieving. Being generous is about wisdom and love, and we lack generosity to our own hurt. Asking how much is enough pushes us back to Jesus’ loving arms of grace.
Jesus said it is better to give than receive (Acts 20:35). Giving brings blessing. Generosity is a win-win proposition. We help someone, and we are blessed. Recognizing this does not ruin it. If giving of yourself and your time and your resources makes you happy and so you give more, it is okay. Keep giving and keep feeling blessed. But someone may interject, “Isn't that selfish?” Here is how you know if you have crossed the line to self-centeredness in your generosity or when it stops being generosity, when you demand something in return. If the giving becomes about you, you need to take some time with Jesus, confess, and let him recalibrate your eyesight.
WHAT IF I’M NOT GENEROUS? 4 STEPS
Okay, this makes sense, but what if I'm not generous or more likely, what if I see areas in which I am greedy or stingy or more resemble Scrooge? These virtues are never binary, yes or no, black or white. We always will fall on a spectrum and hopefully we are moving towards the side of growing generosity. But what if I look at myself and give an honest evaluation that I'm falling way short in this area. Nobody in my circle would call me generous. What then?
First, thank the Lord for giving you eyes to see. Confess this to him. Confession is simply telling the truth about yourself. Take time, make space, and tell God where you are in this. Also, let God's word mold you in this. The scriptures will be your guide with the Holy Spirit but remember that the Bible is not magic. Just reading it won't change you; even studying it won't bring automatic transformation. Encountering God in it will bring change so make space and time and include your community in the process.
Second, recognize there is a reason for you being where you are. You can only be where you are, and you aren't there by accident. God will meet you where you are. In fact, that is where he is standing now. Thus, if you aren't with him, it may be because you need to get there. Acknowledge the truth and feel his loving presence.
Next, take time to reflect and ask God to reveal what is going on in you. Ask God to recall the formational times in your life around generosity. When did you take on a mindset of fear/anxiety or insecurity or distrust? What stories go through your head when you consider giving? Perhaps you know about people who were taken advantage of or burned out or were foolish in their giving? Maybe you made a vow at some point that you wouldn't let people get the best of you? What was your family culture like? Perhaps a church leader misused church resources at some point? Have you been impacted by charlatans or cons who gamed the kindness of naive people? We have all been formed. Let God bring to mind the narratives that formed you and then work through those events. You may need a professional counselor or EMDR therapy or Immanuel Prayer or just some time to reflect, process, and let God's Spirit work in you.
Lastly, let me refer back to my Letter A post which focused on attachment. Our brains are constantly looking to be with “my people”. We looked at how loving our enemies requires me to see them as my people. Since all humans are made in God’s image, are all part of his creation, we are all his people and, at some level in connection with God, all people are my people. Taking some time to reflect on this and see people in this light will increase my sense of connection and allow me a corresponding sense of generosity towards them. Think about it. Each of us is probably generous to those we are close to, to those we love. Being generous towards my kids or my spouse or my best friend probably isn’t a big challenge for most of us. What if I saw all the people around me through God’s eyes and with his heart. This would mean seeing them more and more as my people. This would probably move me towards generosity. This idea may be a bit out there for you. Perhaps it is controversial. I would encourage you to consider it and see where it leads. If it doesn’t click, no worries.
BACK TO DANCING & INTIMACY
As I said early on, going through this process will bring growth in you as you intimately connect with Jesus. Generosity will be included but the real goal isn't just to become generous. Rather lack of generosity is a revealer of the need to deepen our abiding in Jesus. Becoming more generous will bring blessings that will reverberate beyond our understanding, but the true reward is Jesus.
Thus, we are reminded that our purpose in life as humans is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. Jesus sums up the law in love God and love neighbor as we love our selves. In this case, generosity has shown us a possible gap and the move towards filling that gap is, at heart, a move towards enjoying God, glorifying him, and loving our neighbors. Becoming generous is important. It is a sign of maturity, a sign that we know Jesus and are being transformed by His Spirit. Yet, once again I'll say, pursue generosity to grow in intimacy with Jesus. Let working on generosity be your dance lessons.
“I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver."
– Maya Angelou