Make Time and Space for Silence Each Day
How often do you sit and do nothing?
How do you deal with silence either alone or with people? How about in the car?
In the context of making plans and forming ideas, a friend of mine said he only trusts what originates from silence.
Regardless of what you think of the comment, how much would your life have to change to live this way?
These are the kinds of questions prompting us to think about the concept and practice of solitude and silence which I mentioned in a recent post about making space for God encounters.
NEED SUPPORTIVE COMMUNITY
Ironically, the first caveat I want to mention about solitude and silence is that when we decide to practice these, we need to be part of a community with whom we can share. This may sound strange at first but upon further thought it will become clear.
Many of us avoid solitude and silence for a reason. When we go to those places, we feel uncomfortable. The discomfort may come from different sources, but it will come, nonetheless. To be able to deal with that discomfort, to process it and metabolize it, we need other people to help us. Perhaps this can be a counselor, but good friends who love us and know how to listen and ask powerful questions play a vital role as we tell our stories.
But a key step before we can tell our stories is to make time for being alone and listening to God and our souls. This silent time alone can take different interior forms, and I encourage you to try each of them.
A FEW METHODS
One option is to sit and do nothing. Don't pray or quote scripture or think about any particular topic. If a thought comes into your mind, let it be but don't work it out or dive into it; just let it be until it leaves and then do the same with the following thoughts. If you fall asleep, let it be but know that your body is telling you something about your schedule/lifestyle.
Another option is to focus on something. Maybe pick a word or a phrase like "beloved" or "live in the light" or "Redeemer" or whatever works for you. Let that word ground you and keep you tethered. Play with it in your mind, roll it around as if holding it in your hands and look at it from every angle.
Yet another option is to pray or have a conversation with God but internally. Don't speak out loud.
And still another option is to have a conversation with your soul like the psalmist does in Psalms 42 and 43.
Like I said, try each of these. Most of us probably need to set a timer. I bought a kitchen timer to use for this because using my phone distracts me too much (affiliate link).
REMEMBER THE GOAL
Remember the goal as you do these is simply to make space to encounter God. He is with us always, but we don't often have eyes to see. This practice allows us to take the time to look and listen. We are putting ourselves in a waiting posture. Of course, we can't manipulate God. This isn't a formula.
Even if you don't experience God in the silence, the benefits are numerous. Just slowing down and making space is healing for our souls. It used to be a normal part of life, but those days are long gone. We need to intentionally make it happen.
When you are done, especially if this is a new practice, make time for reflection. If you have 20 minutes, take 10 of silence and then another 10 to write about the experience. This will help you recognize what is happening and how to share about it with others.
GRACE ABOUNDING
However, if you have not done this before, it will seem like an eternity. I tell people to start with 3-10 minutes. Make it your goal to get to 10 but don't feel guilty for doing less. Start where you can and let it build. Some day you may be taking multi-day silent retreats but for now just try to do a few minutes and reflect on the experience. This is not a competition.
BE AWARE: PAINFUL OR UNCOMFORTABLE IS OKAY
Be sure to recognize that for some the experience may be quite painful or difficult. A time of silence is a time for painful memories or ugly thoughts or scary ideas to arise in our minds. Our busy, noisy lives protect us from those things or at least we tell ourselves that is the case. It is true in a sense, but it only keeps them at bay. We don't receive healing or find freedom in the busy-noisy-ness. For that we need something else and times of silence and solitude will move us towards that. You may find that these times give you the content for talking to a counselor. You may also find that observing a ritual or ceremony can be helpful for whatever painful or uncomfortable feelings, thoughts, or memories arise. Do something physical afterwards like working out or time in your garden or write out your memory or thought on a piece of paper and burn it. Whatever comes up is part of you and needs to be addressed and honored so you can receive healing, wholeness, and freedom.