ABCs of Spiritual Formation: E is for Evangelism
“We best defend the Lord's glory by speaking first TO Him about unbelieving men rather than speaking first ABOUT Him to unbelieving men.”
― Dr. Sinclair Ferguson
“Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom," says Paul. And we are most in line with the Spirit, most faithfully obedient, when instead of trying to manipulate people into faith, we simply live in that freedom and let the Spirit do the work of transformation.”
― Mark Galli
NOTE: This is a very loooong and quite personal post which is not the norm for this blog. In it I tell my story of how God used evangelism in my spiritual formation. I don't think my story is universal, but I do think many Christians will find encouragement in it. I first called this memoir, "I Kissed Evangelism Goodbye", but have not used that language much in this version. I hope you are able to make the time to read and reflect.
EV TRAINING
We met on the beach right off Esplanade in Redondo, prayed together, listened to instructions, made sure everyone had enough tracts, broke into pairs, and then spread out to "share the gospel" with people who were willing to listen. I was nervous to the point of shaking but did everything I could to hide it. My partner led, and we shared with a number of people before our appointed time to regroup and hear stories. Some people had encouraging stories and some did not, but everyone got some experience and was hopefully better equipped for future encounters. I left feeling a mix of pride and shame.
Since then I have participated in many evangelism training programs. One really cool guy wearing a fanny pack full of tracts prepared a group from our church for the Greg Laurie Harvest Crusade in Anaheim. He had great ideas and was clearly gifted in EV.
A pastor met with me one-on-one for a few weeks and taught me the Evangelism Explosion program. Another guy taught me a method for using my testimony in EV, and I passed the method on to some friends.
I read Out of the Saltshaker and Into the World: Evangelism as a Way of Life by Rebecca Manley Pippert and Just Walk Across the Room: Simple Steps Pointing People to Faith by Bill Hybels. I've looked through countless tracts, put them in my glove compartment, handed them out to strangers and homeless people, and even gone through some of them with different people. I have given altar calls at the end of sermons. I have even had success seeing people pray a prayer of salvation. Yet, I sit here 30+ years since that first encounter and am no closer to being an evangelist than I was that first day at the beach.
At the same time I have matured in my faith. I have grown in intimacy with Jesus, in receiving His love for me, in understanding grace, in obedience, knowledge and experience, and have seen many people come to know Jesus and His love for them through me and those I lead. I shed tears everytime I hear a testimony of someone putting their trust in Jesus.
I also realize both how glorious I am as a child of God and how wretched my flesh is in its nature. I have lustful thoughts; I respond harshly; I feel hatred towards people and wish evil on them; I act like a sluggard; I do cowardly acts; I deny Jesus out of fear and a desire to be liked; I lie; I deceive to avoid punishment; I judge and criticize out of jealousy, and on and on...
What good news do I have to share?
QUESTIONS & CONFUSION
And the more I read and learn the more I tend towards confusion and the gray zone. Is N.T. Wright correct or is Dr. Piper more faithful to the texts and what are the implications? Is it about the kingdom or social justice or eternal salvation? Does life matter here? Is it always loving to share the gospel? If not, then how do I know when it is? What if I'm the only Christian that person ever meets, and I don't share correctly or sensitively or at all? Is blood on my hands and what are the implications? Why can't I just live a good life, do good deeds, and wait for people to ask me about the hope that I have? What if the overwhelming motivator for my EV is guilt and shame?
Does any of this resonate with you? If not, I assume you would have stopped reading by now or you are continuing out of some twisted curiosity to see where this goes. Let's keep going down the rabbit hole and see where it takes us...
Given what I said above, you may be surprised to hear that I have spent most of my adult life "sharing the gospel" cross-culturally. I must have thought, "Since I'm so bad at doing this in English, I'm sure the solution is to do it in other languages!" Of course, that is not what I consciously thought, but it seems to be the best explanation of what I did. That or I was just in self-denial and full of faith and hope.
What happened? Well what happens when you put a young, messed-up, immature, self-centered, eager to impress, easily threatened, natural leader, desperate to please Jesus, legalistic, young husband and father in a foreign Muslim culture surrounded by a gracious ex-pat community? By God's grace that person fails and grows and stumbles and sees some fruit, and causes quite a bit of pain to himself and others. And God works in such a way as to carry out His purposes for those people while at the same time teaching the young man about grace and repentance and forgiveness and guilt and shame and love and Truth.
In all of that over all those years, this inner struggle with EV continued in me unabated. I was on a roller coaster with each new training filling me with hope followed by disappointment. I was looking for an answer, a method or technique that would make it so that I could stand before God and others and not feel guilty and ashamed of my EV efforts.
WASN'T ABOUT ANSWERS
And 30+ years later I had not found the answers, but my perspective was changing. What if God's view of me has nothing to do with my EV skills and victories? What if God is just calling me to experience His love at the deepest part of my soul and then let that love spill out to those around me? This probably sounds very basic and cliche to you. This is not new to me in an intellectual sense, but getting it to a heart level has been a different story.
But before I go on with this, I need to make one point clear. Some people out there truly have the gift of EV. I can name a few of my friends in that category. They share the gospel, and people put their trust in Jesus. It is amazing to behold. What I am writing in this story is, most likely, not for them. I am so thankful for them. I am not one of them, and yet God is calling me to be a witness. This story is for those of you who resonate with my experience. I pray it is helpful.
At a soul level the problem was that my EV training and underlying philosophy mixed with my personality trained me to forget that I was dealing with people. When I met a non-believer, no matter how hard I tried, I just saw them as a task or target. The fact that they were moms and dads and sisters and brothers and sons and daughters and businessmen and cancer survivors and football fans and artists and neighbors and doctors and teachers and on and on was invisible to me. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that they were lost and needed Jesus, and it was up to me to make them aware of this whether they wanted it or not. In addition, I really wanted to be liked by them, to be relevant, to be cool. This was a bad combination. It meant I did not bring up anything uncomfortable while feeling guilty the whole time. I could not see the person right in front of me because all I could see was me and all the chaos going on in my head. Not a pretty picture.
In 2011 I was introduced to Disciple Making Movements (DMM) by David Watson. I heard David speak and was mesmerized; the concepts and principles resonated with something deep in my soul. It made sense.
For the purposes of this story, the key point was when David said that he saw thousands of churches started by NOT doing EV. That got my attention. He talked about Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and living a Shema lifestyle. What does it look like to love God with everything in you in such a way that everyone knows it? What might happen if you love God and those around you, speaking and acting in such a way that those who are spiritually hungry are easy to see?
This piqued my interest, and I started changing the way I lived. I thought this may be the answer, but the same old inner conflicts reared their heads. I was no longer trying to get people to pray a prayer, but now I was trying to get them to read the Bible with their family or friends. That's a great thing, but the problem was that I still had not dealt with my inner demons. I was not clear on my identity as God's child so I could not view others correctly either. The "Ask" had shifted to a new locus, but I still had to take the step and enter the Discomfort Zone; I had to ask this person in front of me to do something that might make the conversation uncomfortable. Now, let me be clear, I have uncomfortable conversations all the time, but rarely by choice. Usually, I just trip into them through something offensive that I say. I am quite timid when I am aware of what I'm doing. DMM was not the answer, but it did take me further down a path that would lead to the healing and freedom for which I longed.
Another problem kept bothering me. When I am excited about something, I am quite the evangelist. I took Perspectives on the World Christian Movement in 1993, loved it, and convinced most of my closest friends to take it. I took Sonship in 2001, was transformed, and convinced many of my friends to take it or taught it to them. After I heard about DMM in 2011, I convinced my team to embrace it as well as most of my colleagues. I took Life Coaching training in 2014 and spread the word to all I knew. It is not that I was just excited about these things. I could not help but tell others. In those times I became annoying to those around me and did not care.
I questioned myself: "So, why don't I do that with EV? What is wrong with me? Perhaps I just don't love Jesus?"
This is the guilt and shame I felt for many years. These accusations swirled in my head.
As I reflected, I realized that in those times when I am so excited, and I am sharing with everyone I see. I am 100% convinced what I am presenting is good for them. I have not been trained in sharing about it. I don't have a prepared presentation or a tract. I'm just excited and sharing.
Maybe I just lost the excitement with Jesus. This is normal in relationships, right?
I thought about this a good bit. Maybe it has a bit of truth, but it is still missing the mark. As I considered it more I realized that I still wasn't seeing people as people. I had a great product to sell and was selling it. Plus, I was telling my friends, not strangers. I talk about Jesus with those same friends all the time. This showed that I cannot hold in what I'm excited about with those close to me, but it did not fix my EV problem; it wasn't a lost crush issue.
The answer has been staring me in the face since before I was on the beach that day, but I was not able to see it until recently. A combination of deafness, blindness, immaturity, and personality conspired to keep me locked in an unhealthy pattern. God is so gracious and loving. I grew in myriad ways over these years and there are a thousand unhealthy, sinful patterns to which I am still blind. I have no doubt that in God's timing I will become aware of those as well.
The transformation (Romans 12:1-2) happened when I was able to balance my understanding of human wretchedness and depravity (Romans 7:24) with the glory of being made in God's image (Genesis 1:27, Psalm 8:1-9). Along with this came a deeper heart understanding of who God's people truly are and how He sees us - Chosen, Delighted in, Righteous, Alive, Free, Significant, Redeemed, Loved,... - and this freed me. There is no condemnation. I experienced a breaking of the chains that held me captive to the lies that I had to save people, that I had to get them to agree with me, that I had to give my spiel, that I was supposed to manipulate conversations to get to the gospel. Evangelism was so external for me. Ironically, it was disconnected from my soul. Of course, this wasn't new intellectually, but the internal identity change was the difference.
PENDULUM SWING
But the problem with pendulums is that they never just stop back in the middle; they always swing way to the other side. In this case the other side was a bunch of sincere, human and Jesus-less conversations. I am free and do not have to share the gospel so I end up throwing the baby out with the bathwater and losing Jesus as well. Fortunately, we are dynamic, not static. We learn and grow, and God gets us to the right place as we keep walking with Him by His grace.
Now, I am finally getting to the place of caring about the good of the person in front of me. I am "seeing" them. I am genuinely interested in them. I am not listening so as to work the gospel into the conversation; I am connecting with them, opening my heart and seeking their heart. I recognize the person in front of me has been formed. They have most likely experienced much pain. They are wearing a mask. They have learned to cope and protect themselves. They are probably hiding. They are desperate for God's love even though they most likely do not realize it. They do not need a canned talk; they need Jesus, and Jesus is standing right with us. Maybe He will make Himself known through me, maybe now is not the time. He will let me know. My job is to abide in Him and be present with the person(s) in front of me.
Yes and no.
YES in that this is about identity and calling. To the degree that I understand who I am in Christ and how much God loves me and that He has called me to be with Him in the world loving those He puts in my path, I will be free when it comes to introducing people to Jesus.
NO in the sense that this is still a bit vague and wishy-washy. Methods and techniques can be unhelpful and even harmful to the person who is not secure as God's child, but once we have received this healing, tools and tips can be helpful.
Congrats, you are still with me. You have followed my journey to this point, but what am I doing now? What have I replaced it with?
Being intentional is a good thing. We can flow with the Spirit, but He often uses what is already in us. I cannot just go out and run a marathon without training. In the same way being prepared for different situations can be powerful. I do not know where any given conversation is going, but I have a pretty good idea of human nature and the possibilities.
With that in mind, I have thought of some concepts/ideas/questions that help me to move towards a heart connection with whomever I am engaging. If these don't work for you, figure out what does. Start with your identity and calling, experiment, enjoy walking with Jesus in this.
One last issue to address before giving some pointers... What does the Bible actually say about this topic? Perhaps, you think I should have done this earlier, but I did not because it wasn't the issue. I was dealing with internal issues and knew that using proof-texts would keep me from getting to the roots. Now, I can take this step and look at what God expects with enthusiasm.
Here is what I see in the Bible regarding personal evangelism (PEV) with comments as to why the passages may or may not say what I originally understood them to convey.
Matthew 28:18-20 - Jesus commands us to "go into all the world and make disciples..." (Matt 28:18). This does not require PEV as I was taught it.
Acts 1:8 - In Acts 1:8 Jesus says we will be his "witnesses". Witnesses relate what they saw or experienced. This is quite different from PEV. And this is stated as a way of being rather than a command to do.
1 Peter 3:15 - Peter tells us to be ready to "give an answer to everyone who asks you to give a reason for the hope that you have." This definitely does not require going up to strangers and "sharing the gospel". However, it does fit with my desire to be prepared, to think ahead.
Ephesians 4:11 - Lists the five gifted leaders in the church of which evangelist is one. This would seem to indicate that not everyone is an evangelist.
Mark 16:15 - Jesus commands the apostles to go into all the world and "preach the gospel to all creation." The word for preach here gives the idea of proclaim like a town crier which is closer to street preaching than PEV as taught and practiced in evangelical churches. Whether everyone should do this or not is another question, but, for sure, it does not require us to do PEV.
Luke 12:11-12 - Jesus is speaking about being brought before rulers/authorities because of Him, and He says to not worry about what to say. The Holy Spirit will tell you. I have been in this situation, but will have to tell about it in another letter. This gives us freedom to "wing it" under the power of the Holy Spirit, at least at times.
2 Corinthians 5:18-20 - Paul says we are "Christ's ambassadors" calling people to be reconciled to God. I so want to do this; it is my heart's cry. How we do it can take many forms and PEV is not the only one.
2 Timothy 2:15, 4:5 - Two verses in 2 Timothy address this topic. Paul tells Timothy in 2:15 to be "a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth." Then in 4:5 he says to "do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry." I am all for this one as well, but it is not about PEV although it again reinforces the value of preparation. Paul is talking to Timothy as a leader of the local body of believers. The letter is part of the "Pastoral Epistles" meaning it contains instructions to pastors, people in Timothy's position so it is not meant to be universally applied.
Acts 20:24 - Paul says his "only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.” I see this as having much wider applications than just PEV. Also, this passage encourages us to fulfill the task that Jesus gives to each of us. Not everyone receives the same task Paul was given. At the same time I want to do this. God's grace is such good news. Everyone who has experienced it wants the world to know. The question I am addressing here is how we do that. I was taught as if there was one way (at least that is what I received); there are many.
Romans 1:16 - Most everyone knows Romans 1:16 and Paul's glorious exclamation that the gospel is the "power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes..." Amen! I need to grow in believing this deep in my soul, no doubt. However, this verse is not a command to do PEV.
Romans 10:15a - A call to preach to all. "And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?" This again carries the idea of preaching to groups/crowds. This passage includes PEV but has much broader implications.
1 Corinthians 2:1-2 - Paul writes, “And so it was with me, brothers and sisters. When I came to you, I did not come with eloquence or human wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified." Paul gives us a wonderful example here that really fits with what I am saying but making this out to be about PEV does not do justice to the verse.
Colossians 4:2-6 - Paul writes,“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." This is golden. Much can be said about this passage and PEV is an easy application point, I think. However, it is so much more than using a prepared statement like a tract although tracts can make things more clear which is helpful. I would say the principle is to be prepared. Also, the emphasis on prayer puts the locus on God rather than us. This idea of grace-filled, salt-seasoned conversations that are unique or customized to the person with whom we are speaking gets to the heart of my issue. I was not taught to do this. I think the assumption is that this is too difficult. Give people something easy to use in order to be more efficient and, hopefully, effective. In my experience it has made me more efficient but less effective. The verse is a call to be human, to connect with people, to listen to them, to meet them where they are, to listen to God, and to speak accordingly. Using "proclaim" again carries the idea that crowds are in mind. This highlights the tension when we try to teach something to the masses in our large Evangelical churches. We turn evangelism into an "assembly line" product when it has to be hand-crafted.
1 Thessalonians 1:4-5 - 1 Thessalonians is a wonderful letter and gives a clear picture of what I missed for many years. Paul does the hard work here. He shares the gospel through sharing his life. This is clear in 1:4-5 “For we know, brothers and sisters loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake.” This is about an internal work. Paul speaks of power and conviction. All my training focused on truth encounter until I moved overseas.
The uneqivocal call in scripture is to make Jesus known among all creation, which, of course, includes all peoples. This is God's job which He is committed to doing. He has called us into partnership with Him. He empowers us to do this; prayer is vital. Proclamation in word and through our lives must happen. God gives opportunities as we walk in His Holy Spirit; being prepared is necessary since, by God's grace, we are human partners with Him, not robots.
Thus, I can now take another step and say that what this looks like, the role we each play will vary from person to person. Learning methods is not necessarily best. The internal fight of faith, deep convictions, and knowing who we are in Christ, and experiencing His love has to be the starting place.
This is a call to be human, created in God's image. The following verses have helped me in this:
John 13:35 - Jesus says, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” It starts within the body. Our love for our brothers and sisters in Christ is our testimony to the world. Humans are hard-wired for community. We are called to be the grace-oriented groups in which people feel safe and experience love. We are broken and jacked up and cause pain. The grace of God makes it possible for us to form these communities. I have been a part of these kinds of communities. It is glorious and takes a lot of work.
1 Corinthians 3:6-7 - Paul writes, “I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow." We each have a part to play, but, as I said above, it is God's thing. It isn't about fitting into a cookie cutter. It is about me living out the calling God has give me and you living out your calling. (Note: the fulfillment that comes from living out our callings requires self-denial and will involve suffering and often persecution.)
1 Corinthians 9:23 - Although I have a lot of questions about the practical application of 1 Corinthians 9:23 in which Paul says, “I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings", I understand that it recognizes the differences between various people and the need to see them as humans and not targets or tasks.
Colossians 1:28-29 - And lest we forget that the foundational call is to make disciples Paul reminds us, “[Jesus] is the one we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ. To this end I strenuously contend with all the energy Christ so powerfully works in me.” I have not even touched here on Jesus' example of discipling to faith rather than the more common model today of first going for faith and then beginning discipleship. We talk about relationship and then act in conflict with that stated value. I wrestled with this for years. My captivity is over, I hope.
John 6:45 - Lastly, Jesus says, "It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him comes to me." What a wonderful promise. What does it look like to hear and learn from the Father? I want to get people to a place in a group in which they can listen to and learn from the Father. This takes many forms but most assuredly happens through the Bible. God is the teacher. This is always my aim but I'm not always the one God will use to get people there. Regardless, I get to be part of the journey.
BACK TO THE STORY
Okay, so now I can say what has replaced PEV for me. The following ideas may not work for you. They are not new methods to try. The idea is to experience God's love and be intentional about the overflow. This is what it looks like for me. Use this as a launchpad for what it will look like for you.
Here's the basic principle: It has to be inside out. If a Christian is not introducing people to Jesus, they DO NOT need EV training. They need to fall in love with Jesus. That can happen in many ways and won't be covered here, but once it happens, and the person can't help but to "share the gospel", then they need EV training. All of this should be part of discipleship; NOT a discipleship program, but discipleship. With that said, here are some practical ideas, some things I may say to someone because they truly interest me, are interesting to lots of people, cause connection at a human level, and are aimed for the heart. I rarely would open a conversation with these, but may. Jesus and I are with people, He leads, and I'm prepared (except for those times when I am in a bad mood, just want to be alone, am totally self-absorbed, or am otherwise unaware of how much God loves me).
Can you picture yourself saying these to someone? If not, no worries. Start with your heart, prayer, and a desire to connect with others at a heart level and then go from there. May these 15 examples be catalytic.
1. "I read a study saying that people think about God more than sex or death. What do you think?"
This usually leads to interesting conversations. I'm not trying to get them to say something. I'm just connecting, interested, loving, and seeing where it goes. If they show that God is working on them, I join Him in that work.
2. Something about design or purpose - just pick any item in the vicinity and talk/ask about its design or purpose.
Things have a design/purpose originating with the creator. This is an easy transition to asking what the purpose/design for humans or for an individual person is. I heard this on a podcast. I always find it fascinating to talk to people about their purpose for existing. Never dull. Again, I'm not asking this as a sly way to "share the gospel". I'm asking with the hope of connecting with someone at a heart level, seeing what God is doing in them, and letting the Holy Spirit lead. At the same time, if/when there is an opening to speak God/Jesus into the conversation I am going to jump on it, because that is me expressing my heart. I long for everyone I meet to know and love Jesus, but I'm trusting God to lead the conversations I have. This requires prayer and a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, which comes usually through a good bit of trial and error (lots of error for me!).
3. "Why is the world so jacked up?"
This fits my personality and the kinds of discussions I enjoy. It also fits well into a discussion of the first three chapters of Genesis which are, I think, the best explanation of why the world is like it is. Even for evolutionists, this is a good discussion.
4. Examen - "What do you love (doing)? What are you thankful for? What is drudgery for you? What do you wish was different in your life? What would it look like or what would it take to be thankful for the difficult things in life?"
These questions speak for themselves. Ask them to anyone and enjoy the conversation. Dive deep into the heart. Don't ask them in order to get to say what you want. Just ask them and go where it goes. If you are full of Jesus, Jesus will come out. If not, ask yourself some questions.
5. "Why are people so connected to sports and/or leaders/politicians?"
When most humans act similarly it points to something much deeper in us- what is the deeper thing in this case? Could be, "Why do people love super heroes so much?" This can feel pretty forced I think, but it is true and does lead to deep thinking. I would only ask this to someone who I know would think like this and have something to say that would challenge me to think.
6. "Have you ever witnessed a miracle?"
This one will bring up all kinds of crazy stories. Many of them will challenge my worldview. This is really good for me.
7. Be a witness
God-sightings from something personal and recent. This is perhaps the easiest step of obedience and as Biblical as anything we could do. It requires an awareness of what God is doing around me, things I personally experience, and a boldness to share it with people when appropriate. I find that this requires a high level of intentionality. Most people will have to put systems in place to be mindful and to share the stories. One good rule is to not share any story that is older than some amount of time - 1 month, 3 months, 6 months. This fights the natural tendency towards laziness. If I'm generally telling stories that are ten years old, that is a problem. God is moving today. May we have eyes to see and the boldness to share. And one more time, if you aren't sharing, dig down deep to find out why. Do NOT do it out of guilt or shame. Experience God's love and grace and let it overflow out of you. It takes effort, the right kind of effort.
8. Something from a Bible passage that spoke to me recently.
This is closely connected to the previous idea but is specifically about scripture. It means I need to be reading and meditating on God's Word, and I need to be doing more than checking it off a list. If I have nothing to share from my time in the Bible from the last week, then something is wrong. First, I need to repent as there are countless verses that make it clear that it is a sin. Note that this is quite different from being in a desert or feeling distant from God. In that case I am pursuing Him but not "hearing" anything. That is a great thing to share. No, I am speaking of either not reading/meditating on the Bible regularly or doing it just to check it off the list and coming away having no idea what I read. James 1:24 speaks of this.
9. "Have you ever felt alone? Talk about it."
This is a great question to ask. Depending on the relationship you may need to be vulnerable and share first about times when you have felt alone. Ideally, don't wrap it up with a bow as that will not help your conversation partner(s) to share as openly since they will feel like they have to be in a good place. Feeling alone is a human experience, it may be uniquely human. Jesus is the answer. He will never leave us. Once we are in His forever family, we are never alone. Not everyone is ready to hear this right away. Just be with the person in the feeling with Jesus and let Him guide you. It is okay at times to not solve the issue. It is also okay at times to speak an encouraging word. Nobody can say beforehand what is the best response. Just be in the moment, listen from your heart, head, and gut, and let the Holy Spirit move. Afterwards, be sure to debrief with someone so you can learn and grow and better experience Jesus moving forward. It is all grace. Jesus is bigger than our failures in these times so we can go with boldness.
10. Something about the unseen/invisible.
Whether the people across the table are atheistic scientists or relativistic postmoderns this is a great discussion starter. How do you measure love or trust scientifically? What about guilt or shame? How do you experience the unseen/spiritual realms? Don't ask so you can tell them your theology. Try to be two humans exploring the unseen world. Share experience but not dogma. I'm not against dogma, I just don't find it helpful for getting people to open their hearts. We want to get away from ideology because it allows people, including us, to hide. Jordan Peterson challenged viewers in one of his talks to say something that nobody else could say. I like that. Otherwise, we are just parroting ideology. Whatever you are talking about, make it your own. Make it something that only you could say. Speak God's truth but speak it in such a way that you have owned it. Be fine with not knowing answers. The best discussions/conversations in this context are the ones in which you don't have answers. The questions are open and exploring is encouraged. God is big enough to handle this.
11. Identity - "Who are you created to be? What is your identity?"
(Note that this is not about doing- most people will go there.) Helping people with this is my purpose in life. I am still finding ways to ask it that get to the heart, that really get people talking from a place of discovery and exploration. I believe this can only be truly found in Jesus. That does not mean that every conversation has to go there. There are few things better than when someone has an "Aha!" moment in this, whether it is meeting Jesus or just experiencing new revelation.
12. "How do people experience you when you are and are not living out of your identity? What does it mean to live out of your ID?"
Ask this or ask someone to answer this about you. That is a vulnerable step to take. Very powerful. It requires a humility and self-awareness that are rare and can have a powerful impact.
13. "What does it take for you to feel safe with people? How about to be fully honest?"
This can only be done in close relationships in which there is enough safety for them to share, but even among people who are not so close, it can start at a more general level. We can ask about group situations. The purpose here is to uncover those parts of us that are masked that keep us living in fear and hiding. To get to this place with someone is powerful. Jesus will be present. Allowing Him to speak into this is where I want to be.
14. "What would you say to this statement I heard, "Deep down in all of us there is a longing for the Garden of Eden." (a perfect place) If yes, why? What does it point to in us? If no, then why do we expect things to be perfect?"
This is another instance of using an idea or truth to spark a heart-level conversations. My struggle in these is that I can quickly move into debate and wanting to convince rather than just listen and be in the moment, recognize what their heart is saying, what is not being said, and what in them is crying out to be heard.
15. Mine their story- "What childhood traumas still affect you today?"
Let them tell a story. Listen deeply and let them know you heard it. Don't try to fix it or solve it. Be with them in it. Just sit there in the pain and hurt. Tell one of your stories if they are interested. A question that can be asked is, "What would it look like for God to redeem your story?" But this will probably be for another conversation. It is about re-imagining, about seeing the world differently. It may bring out anger at God. That is fine. God is big enough to handle it. That is actually better than apathy. Don't defend God.
These are some of my ideas. Let me close (finally!) with a couple of questions. One for me and one for you.
First me... I kissed evangelism goodbye, where's the fruit? I am thinking of fruit in a biblical sense here, meaning more than just saved souls. The fruit has been quite abundant when it comes to intimacy with Jesus, experiencing God's love, loving those in my sphere of influence, expecting God to be present, resting in God's process in me and others, less pressure to perform with people, deeper vulnerability and more. In terms of saved souls, I cannot report much. I'm definitely not seeing less than I saw before, but I am not seeing more either. I do trust that as I walk in obedience born out of God's love that He will work in people at a soul level. I know I am more often a non-anxious presence and my influence has grown and more often people ask about the hope I have (although they may use different words).
Now you... How do you feel reading this? Sit down with Jesus and/or with a group and process your feelings both about the topic of PEV and my experiences. Feel and deal. Let it percolate. When you are ready, respond. Make a plan, do what needs to be done to be who you need to be in this area.
Last note... If anything written above gives the impression that I "have it all together" and/or "have it all figured out", then I take credit for that blunder and apologize. I am learning and growing according to God's promises. My desire is to journey with all those who want to live in their True Identity and True Calling which is only found in the Triune God.
“Beginning to sense his call to preach boldly in dangerous situations even though he was young and slight, the author agreed to go only if God would give him a particular sense of His presence. The next morning, the author says it was as if God took out his human eyes and replaced them with God's own because he saw other people so much more vividly.”
― K.P. Yohannan
If you live by the same values and priorities [Jesus] had, you will find evangelism happening naturally. It becomes a life-style and not a project.
Rebecca Pippert