ABCs of Spiritual Formation: D is for Deconstruct

"In this life many demolitions are actually renovations."

-- Rumi

He said to them, “How foolish you are, and how slow to believe all that the prophets have spoken!

Luke 24:25

MARKS OF GROWTH

If you grew up in church, became a Christian at a young age, and have walked unquestioningly in your faith into your 40s and 50s and beyond, then something is WRONG!

When my now quite tall sons entered their teen years, they shot up like bamboo. In those few years they went from literally looking up to me to eye-to-eye to calling me short. Now, at 6'6", 6'5", and 6'4", my three oldest sons tower over me. Have them take off their shirts and turn around, and you'll see stretch marks checkering their backs. Change and growth make their mark on us, physically as well as emotionally and spiritually.

We see this from a relational perspective as well. Who are your closest friends? Consider what you have been through together. I can guarantee that the depth of your friendship is relative to the suffering and conflict you have endured and worked through together.

As we grow and mature in our faith, we encounter circumstances that don't match our notions. Life doesn't go like it is supposed to, like we envisioned. We realize the true God does not match the god in our imaginations. This can happen in small and large ways, but when it does, we are forced to recalibrate our faith.

A NEW OLD IDEA

Lately, the term deconstruction is thrown around like a football on Thanksgiving. As is often the case, people today think they are the first to endure such things. We suffer or are faced with questions we can't answer or look at the wider culture or listen to a university professor or meet someone different from us and realize we are missing something. The faith we grew up with doesn’t “work” in the real world.

This has been happening since time began, but in the last 15-20 years the framing has changed, and deconstructing has been sold as the endpoint instead of another stage on the journey to true faith or faith in the true God. Many spiritual authors speak of "the Wall" that we must go through on the road to maturity. Unfortunately, the loss of that language has led to unnecessary despair among many current believers.

I say the beginning of time above because Genesis 3 is the first recorded instance of faith being deconstructed. The serpent asks about the fruit and Eve is sent into a spiral we are still experiencing. But I think the walk to Emmaus (Luke 24:13-35) reveals a better passage for us to consider. Jesus was gone, the disciples were scattered, and this couple is heading to Emmaus. Their faith has been drained of substance. I like Rolheiser's contention that leaving Jerusalem symbolized leaving the church, leaving their faith.

When Jesus meets them, they are despairing; everything they were counting on has proven empty. He listens and then rebukes them quite strongly. This may be the quickest reconstruction in history, and they are renewed once the truth has been revealed.

A NORMAL PROCESS

Going through the process of construction - deconstruction - reconstruction is normal for maturing faith. We are not to see it as some strange occurrence. God is infinite; the Bible is over 1000 pages. We can only handle a few verses to get our understanding of God. As we grow and experience life, God, in His grace, ruins us. We are reborn and not just once.

Personally, I have seen this a few times. I began struggling at university. Faced with questions and lifestyles I was not prepared for; I entered a bumpy stage that eventually led to experimenting with sinful a relationship. That didn't end well, thankfully, and I was left alone on my own road to Emmaus throwing a tantrum. God was gracious and the answers came in the following months.

The next deconstruction process came while ministering overseas. Our third child was going to be born in our chosen country which would surely lead to a movement to Christ among the local Muslims. They would recognize such sacrificial incarnated ministry, and glory and praise to God (and us) would result. Again, by God's grace, everything went wrong, we were air-evacuated to save our son's life, and all that was revealed was my vapidity. In the trough of despair, my faith was once again torn down to be rebuilt, and it was, stronger than ever, but the process was long and painful.

I could recount several more similar stories, but you get the picture. What about you? When you consider your life story, what place has deconstruction and reconstruction played in your journey? This process is rarely intentional. We don't choose it, but to quote scripture, when the time reaches its fullness, God reveals more of Himself to send our world into topsy-turvy "fun" time. The false is burned away, the true remains and grows. Often, in these times, it feels like nothing true was there, but that is not reality; we just can't see it because the demolition was so overwhelming. Sometimes, we were building on a foundation other than Christ, like me in my overseas birth story, and the removal of that false foundation requires a massive earthquake. Those of us on the other side know the agony of that season will later be seen as a grace, but it will take time.

GOD IS IN IT

If you are going through a season like this, know that it means God is with you and is working. I pray you have good community who knows how to walk with you through your struggles. You don't need answers, you need love and grace and secure attachment. Answers will come eventually, but you probably don't even know which questions are the real questions at this point.

If you know someone who is going through a season of deconstruction, pray for them, stand with them, avoid judging or giving simple answers. May God give you wisdom for there is no formula on how to help them. Everyone must come to the place of Peter in John 6:68 recognizing that nobody but Jesus offers eternal life. How God reveals that to them will be unique to them, but God is up to the task so being a non-anxious presence, confident in God's sovereignty and open to His leading will be the best way to love your friend. Be kind and curious knowing you have been and/or will be in that same place at some point.

In the meantime, may we be cultivating communities that understand and can handle and trust God in the construction - deconstruction - reconstruction process. This is what we are trying to do in Focustsoul. When we talk about making space to encounter God in community, we know that the only way to be transformed is to encounter God and when that happens it can be scary and painful and so we need community. We need brothers and sisters who will walk with us through the mountains and valleys. This can't happen through virtual community so be local, but a virtual community like Focustsoul can give tools and resources to help you better engage with your community, and we can strengthen local communities that are already in place. We are already seeing this happen which is very encouraging.

CONCLUSION

Thus, we see that deconstruction is not new and doesn't have to be scary or odd. It will probably be painful and disconcerting, but God is bigger. Part of being human is being finite but also being stamped with the image of God. Thus, we can't take all of God in at once and what we can take in will be skewed. Sometimes the skewing must be reset and sometimes this will be major. May we all have the grace to come through it and walk with others in their turn as well.

Peace and Happy New Year!

Duke

P.S. If you want to read more, an article on TGC by a friend of mine may be helpful. He shares about his journey through the process. When he wrote it a few years ago it went viral.

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