Signs of Spiritual Maturity Part 8: Growing Life of Prayer
“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he got up, went out, and made his way to a deserted place; and there he was praying.”
– Mark 1:35
Control & Dependence
This week we continue our Maturity Series with Father Ron Rolheiser's eighth sign of maturity or Christlikeness:
8. Pray, affectively and liturgically.
One of the underlying ideas in all these posts on maturity is a growing foundational awareness that we are not in control, don't have control, and can't "make it" on our own. The problem of being competent in the modern world is that humans have been able to do amazing things, and we have quite a bit of freedom and autonomy. This gives us a false sense of security. Nevertheless, in this age of social media and smart phone technology, anxiety is at an all-time high. This paradox of control and security while also feeling anxious is one we have accepted without questions. We know something is wrong, but we can't imagine life any other way.
PRAYER & MATURITY
This is where prayer comes in. Our prayer life reveals our growing maturity in that it shows us how much we think our lives are in God's hands. Consider that sentence again. If what happens is up to me, I don't need to pray; if it is in God's hands, I will pray.
But even as I write that I feel how easily it can be misconstrued. I am not talking about an amount of time but an attitude. I could read the sentence above, start feeling anxious, and will myself to pray a lot so as to earn God's favor. I could start treating prayer like some kind of slot machine; pull the arm and receive the reward. If you just pull it enough times, eventually you will get the reward. For those serving in cross-cultural ministry pursuing disciple making movements, prayer is a vital aspect of the work. Unfortunately, for some (many?) it is some kind of formulaic variable. If only we pray enough, God will make a movement happen. How much is enough? Apparently, it is a bit more if a movement hasn't happened yet.
This is not what I'm talking about here. We so quickly lose the relational nature of God and reduce our lives to action steps that will get us what we want. It's like Indiana Jones going through the cave, stepping on just the right stones so as to not set off the booby trap and ruin everything. Ughh! Been there, done that.
All of that is what we go through in the process of maturing. The inevitable immature responses to something like prayer are just that, inevitable, unavoidable. And God is gracious, kind, and loving, and patient. He walks with us and doesn't condemn us. As we go through those experiences we learn and grow and deepen. Maturity is about becoming more relational, more dependent.
AFFECTIVE & LITURGICAL
Slowly, over a lifetime, we move deeper into abiding, into a life of prayer. This means we develop a lifestyle of prayer but also our life is a prayer lived out. This is where Rolheiser's including "affective and liturgical" enters the picture. Maturing means developing an individual life of prayer, of affection, of conversing, communing with God in which we share our deepest longings and aches and laments and joys and needs as well as verbally process whatever we are dealing with. Our loving heavenly Father is always with us, so we are always talking to him.
Also, on a parallel track, we are growing in communal prayer. This is the liturgical. We are not isolated; we are in relationship with God and our neighbor. We are part of a community of God's people. This may look different for us at different times of life, but coming before the throne of grace together with others regularly is vital for a vibrant walk with God. He created us for community. Our culture of isolation and loneliness is not God's will for us. His invitation is for us to join others. Growing both lives of prayer moves us towards Christlikeness. Read the gospels to see a plethora of examples of Jesus modeling both individual time with his Father and communal times with his disciples and others. He is regularly found in the synagogues with his community. Those instances often don't go well, but he continues to engage.
Thus, we see a way towards a lifestyle of prayer, but what do we mean by our lives being a prayer? What do we pray for? What does it look like to live out the with-God life? We step out of our doors into the world and engage with people in countless ways. We also engage with people on social media and texting. Consider different situations... we are comforting those who are grieving, engaging with those who annoy us or disagree with us, enjoying time with family or friends, in painful conflict with someone, hearing about injustice, driving down the street surrounded by bad drivers, dealing with rude sales clerks, meeting amazing people, and on and on. In each of these situations, our lives are a prayer as we love and comfort and respond with grace and mercy and don't have the last word and turn to the other cheek and rejoice with excitement and encourage and on and on. We live out what we pray.
LIFETIME PROCESS
Of course, this sounds good and would be nice if we could do it every time, but we can't and that is okay. Every time we live in loving grace is an opportunity for gratitude and joy. Every time we fail is a gift from God inviting us to repentance and renewal. Or we don't repent but get defensive and double down or we feel pride and start to think highly of ourselves. It happens. We lose and those around us lose in those situations. At some point we need to recognize and confess and come before God and our neighbor with open hands. This is maturity.
I confess that in prayer I am weak. Once again, knowing the "right answers", i.e. being able to write about prayer, isn't the same as living or embodying the practice. Wherever we are in this, God is inviting us deeper into himself. Life is found in him which means that making space for prayer, for becoming people of prayer, for developing a life of prayer is the best step we can take. May each of us be moving that direction. Grace.
"Prayer is the raising of one's mind and heart to God or the requesting of good things from God."
– St. John Damascene