ABCs of Spiritual Formation: C is for Curiosity
"Curiosity is the forerunner of discovery."
— Richard Duke
"But the Kohathites must not go in to look at the holy things, even for a moment, or they will die.”
Numbers 4:20
CURIOSITY & STERILIZATION
The International Clinic in Tashkent, Uzbekistan in 2005 was a wonderful gift to the ex-pat community. Dr. Jan was a wonderful doctor and took great care of everyone who passed through the doors of her clinic. This was shortly before all the foreigners were booted from Uzbekistan and the clinic shut down. But in those days when we were visiting the clinic in preparation for baby number five, we happily made the 90-minute drive from Gulistan just south of the capital for world-class medical care.
On one visit when we were the only patients there, Dr. Jan had stepped out of the room to check something. I began fumbling through the instruments and bandages and wraps and various containers on the tray in front of Laurie. I always do that at doctor's offices; everything is so interesting and inviting.
Upon re-entering the room Dr. Jan saw me and with an exasperated look said they would now have to re-sterilize everything on the tray. Laurie gave me an "I told you so look", and I sheepishly went to sit down in a distant chair for the rest of our visit. Fortunately, Dr. Jan was gracious and didn't hold it against me, but this story highlights my ambivalence with curiosity. And I'm not alone. Do a search on “Christianity and curiosity” or the “Bible and curiosity”, and you'll find a mix of links. Some extoll the virtue of curiosity while others warn of the dangers.
Curiosity is what drives us to learn and grow and search the scriptures for what we don't understand. It is also what leads us into temptation and all kinds of troubles. So, what do we do?
CURIOSITY & NUANCE
The Bible lives in the nuance of this dilemma telling us to go after wisdom and growth in Proverbs (1:22, 32-33; 2:1-5; 4:5 and many more verses) while warning us to be careful of desires and temptation in forbidden areas (James 1:14-15; Numbers 4:20, Genesis 3).
Look at these two verses:
Psalm 25:14 "The secret counsel of the LORD is for those who fear Him, and He reveals His covenant to them."
Acts 1:7 "He replied, 'The Father alone has the authority to set those dates and times, and they are not for you to know.'"
Here we see the rub. God calls us into relational, trusting curiosity. He sets the boundaries and within those boundaries, we are to wholeheartedly pursue all he has for us but crossing those boundaries will often bring misery and suffering.
Dallas Willard speaks about the metaphor of the playground in the context of living in God's will, and it applies here as well. Picture a playground encircled by a high fence. Within the playground is a slide and swing set and merry-go-round and jungle gym and sandbox. Outside of the fence is a dark, wooded area. You can play on everything within the fences to your heart's content. Curiosity about anything on the playground is welcomed, but hearing the call to go outside the fences is where curiosity crosses over into sin and grief and loss.
Yet, let me give one caveat to this. Some people read the above paragraph and feel a twinge or lack. I feel it myself. Here's the key, make sure we are talking about God's playground and not a man-made playground masquerading as God's creation. This is what happened with the conflict between Jesus and the Pharisees over the Sabbath. Jesus was not going outside of God's Sabbath; he was knocking down the man-made fences of the Sabbath as practiced at that time. Now, those fences were originally built by good-hearted people trying to protect the community. They were exiled to Babylon in part for not keeping the Sabbath so that had to be fixed. The tighter fences they built were an attempt to fix that, but they were wrong, and still today we suffer from wrong views of the beautiful gift of the Sabbath because of their attempts to "fix" what God had made. Thus, the line here is quite gray as we constantly wrestle with living within God's boundaries and our curiosity pushing against boundaries that "feel" off. Maybe they feel that way because God didn't make them and maybe it is because our flesh wants to rebel against God. To solve this we need grace, curiosity, and community, and we must fight against the temptation to control and micro-manage.
Thankfully, God's grace is bigger than our disobedience. When we get this wrong, we may suffer, but we will not fall out of God's love or his presence. We can rest in that. Knowing this helps us stay curious despite our mistakes and failings. Being in healthy community allows us to both learn together and avoid the groupthink that causes false boundaries. This requires much work, but the fruit is worth it. Forgive the ad, but this is the fruit that comes from what we are doing in the Focustsoul community.
CURIOSITY & KNOWLEDGE & HUMILITY & WONDER
“Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement. ....get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.”
-- Abraham Joshua Heschel
As mentioned in the top story, I tend to be curious. If you spend any time with me, you know I like to ask questions and constantly wonder how things came to be. As I've matured, I have grown a bit in understanding that just because I think of a question, does not mean I must ask it. Usually, in my writing, I don't speak of my virtues for many reasons both healthy and unhealthy, but to the degree curiosity is a virtue (and my wife would point to times when it wasn't in me) I have it. I can't tell you why I'm like this.
Most children are curious about everything because they understand so little. I wonder if adults lose some of their curiosity because they think they know or understand things. This would make sense. If I think I understand something, why would I be curious about it. The problem is we only know things when we think we understand them. Here's an example that applies to most people. I know if I flick the light switch the lights will come on. I have little to no idea how it works. I substitute knowledge for understanding, and I'm busy and don't really care so I am not curious to learn about electricity. I become quite utilitarian because I can't know everything. Then we make the jump towards settling for minimum knowledge in everything.
Therein is the issue and reveals why curiosity is so important for spiritual formation. Curiosity requires both humility and wonder. God is infinite; the Bible is infinitely deep; the universe is amazing; the human soul is God's most precious creation. Accepting our finiteness, our smallness pushes us to dive deeper into God and his creation, deeper into joy and rest and love and awe. We can never plumb the depths. Curiosity keeps pushing us deeper. Hopefully, this is invitational and not stressful.
BACK TO EARTH AND RELATIONSHIPS
Let's descend from the stars now and think of curiosity towards ourselves and those with whom we relate. One aim of spiritual formation is Christlikeness and one practical outworking of that is to love our enemies and bless those who curse us.
Curiosity helps in this. My counselor regular exhorts me to be kind and curious to myself. Kindness is about compassion. Curiosity is about withholding judgment. All of us have been formed and shaped by people and our perception of our experiences, especially traumatic experiences. The same is true for all the other humans on earth. Kindness means we recognize this. It doesn't mean we excuse sin, but we don't condemn those who hurt us either. In the past I was the worst at self-condemnation. I'm learning to be kind to myself, especially in self-talk. Curiosity means we ask a lot of Why questions, but not the kind that cause defensiveness.
When we get upset at the driver next to me; when we respond angrily to one of our children; when we get easily offended; when we learn about money being spent and respond harshly, we are curious. I was taught to just confess and repent when those things happen. Of course, we should confess sin and repent. It brings freedom. However, we can easily miss what God wants to do in us when we skip the step of curiosity.
Another example: I'm talking to a neighbor and have an opportunity to tell him about Jesus, but I feel fear, hesitate, and then change the subject. Afterwards, what do I do? Should I confess cowardice and fear of man and promise to be different next time or maybe pray to be different next time? What would it look like to be kind and curious in that situation? What would happen if I took some time to sit with Jesus and replay the situation in my head? I could ask him about it and what he thought and what he thinks of me. I could process the fear I was feeling and think about other times I have felt it and maybe figure out when it started or where it comes from. I could get to the root of why I see evangelism as the main character trait of a good Christian. I could search the scriptures for what God says about this situation to me. I may end up spending hours on this and meet God in it and be transformed. Or I may spend a few minutes and feel God's forgiveness and move on. Curiosity will lead to growth.
It will also lead to deeper, loving relationships. We will not settle for surface level connections but will seek to love the people in our lives, including those who annoy us and even our enemies. We will assume we don't understand and seek to ask questions and see into their heart and soul. This can be contagious and change communities. This is about making space instead of jumping to conclusions and/or accepting whatever we feel as final.
CURIOSITY AS LIFESTYLE
If you're not curious, the place to start is to be curious about it. See what I did there. Seriously, cultivate a curious lifestyle. Discuss what you are learning and what you want to learn. Think of a few helpful "go to" questions you can ask people when you are with them, so you don't have to come up with something in the moment.
Here are some powerful questions to ask:
How are you showing up to this time?
Tell me a favorite memory from your teen years.
What's your favorite thing to do when you have free time?
Tell me something you learned from your mom or dad that still serves you today.
What is something you have accomplished you are proud of?
Tell me about something difficult you endured that helped shape you into who you are today.
If you are with someone you know well, you can ask about painful memories.
Hopefully you get the idea. Instead of asking about work or vacations or weather, go deeper. If none of these questions work, no worries. Sit for a few minutes and get in touch with your inner child. What are you curious about? What do you want to know or understand? What interests you? Cultivate those things. If need be, go hang out with some 3–5-year-olds and learn from them.
CURIOSITY & THE BURNING BUSHES
In Exodus 3:4-5 Moses comes upon the burning bush and the text says, "So Moses thought, 'I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up.'
4 When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, 'Moses! Moses!'
And Moses said, 'Here I am.'"
Moses was curious. I know this seems obvious. If any of us saw a burning bush, we would check it out, but the passage seems to say that Moses could have walked on by. I wonder how many burning bushes we have missed because we are moving too fast or distracted or lack margin? I'm sure I've missed some. But let's be kind and curious instead of condemning. God is gracious.
Let's become the kind of people who are making space for God to put burning bushes in our lives, and for us to think like Moses, "I will go over and see this strange sight".
May God give us the grace for this.
"Be curious, not judgmental."
-- Walt Whitman
"Instead, each person is tempted by his own desire, being lured and trapped by it. When that desire becomes pregnant, it gives birth to sin; and when that sin grows up, it gives birth to death."
James 1:14-15