ABCs of Spiritual Formation: W is for Wait
"Therefore the Lord is waiting to show you mercy,
and is rising up to show you compassion,
for the Lord is a just God.
All who wait patiently for him are happy."
-- Isaiah 30:18
W is for Wait
I must confess that writing this post puts me in danger of exhibiting major hypocrisy for patience is another area of weakness. Just this week as my wife and I sat at a red light waiting to turn right behind a car which was not going despite the open road ahead, I was frustratingly begging him to go. Knowing what Laurie was thinking I commented that waiting at the light was not the problem; the incompetence of the driver ahead of me was what had me in a hissy. Of course, that is nonsense. Some part of me was merciless and impatient and felt free to condemn the driver in front of me even though I knew nothing of his story. Fortunately, I didn't honk, and he eventually turned. The whole event took maybe 20 seconds. Thus, I share this to say that I am the least qualified to write about waiting, but I am quite aware of the issues and thankful for the grace of God in this area. Consider this letter as written to myself, and you get a peek into my preaching of the gospel to myself in this area of life and formation. Welcome to my world...
"Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart be courageous. Wait for the Lord."
— Psalm 27:14
"Now the people were waiting expectantly, and all of them were questioning in their hearts whether John might be the Messiah."
— Luke 3:15
ADVENT - WE BEGIN WITH WAITING
The Christian year begins with Advent, i.e. waiting. Our first season is one of waiting for the birth of the savior. Depending on the sub-culture in which you grew up, you may have had an Advent calendar to enjoy during the month of December. Each day you open a door or add an item or get a piece of candy as you move towards Christmas. Between the ages of 5-10, December was the slowest month on the calendar. The days crept by as we waited for Christmas morning. Going to sleep on Christmas Eve was nigh impossible. The clock slowed down in a cruel conspiracy to keep us from that magical morning.
In the same way we are called to eagerly wait for the return of Jesus. Just as the Jews awaited the Messiah and longed for salvation, today we wait for the second coming when Jesus will make all things new.
"For the creation eagerly waits with anticipation for God’s sons to be revealed."
— Romans 8:19
"Not only that, but we ourselves who have the Spirit as the firstfruits—we also groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for adoption, the redemption of our bodies."
— Romans 8:23
Now if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with patience."
— Romans 8:25
How much does this idea animate your days?
After 2000 years have we grown passive and unexpectant? Sure, Jesus is coming back but probably not soon, right?
"Make your ways known to me, Lord;
teach me your paths.
Guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are the God of my salvation;
I wait for you all day long."
— Psalm 25:4-5
LIFE OF WAITING
Our lives are characterized by waiting. Every day we wait for something. We sit in traffic or wait for our food or stand in line at the store or wait for a response to our email or for deliveries. In our material lives as well as our spiritual lives, waiting is the norm. Despite this, we hate it. We don't want to wait. Amazon delivers same day. Mobile Apps allow us to order ahead so things are ready upon arrival. Remote work means we don't have to wait in traffic. Our GPS calculates and constantly recalculates the shortest route. When we do wait, we open our phones to distract us. We order our lives around not waiting and not being bored.
Why do we do this? Why is waiting so difficult?
In Turkey in our village, old men would go out to the street to catch the bus to town. The bus passed our village at 20 minutes after each hour throughout the day. A man would come to the bus stop 20-30 minutes early and just sit there. He wouldn't look at his phone; he just sat there alone, not in a hurry, and apparently with no better place to be. I always marveled at these men and wondered what it would take for me to have that mindset. I'm not saying they were better; they had no purpose in life, no sense of calling and so spending their day waiting didn't feel like losing anything. But is it possible to have purpose and not mind waiting?
I don't know why waiting is so difficult. Often my fight against waiting in one place only puts me in the next place of waiting. I hurry to get somewhere so I can wait there. How about you?
"I am certain that I will see the Lord’s goodness
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart be courageous.
Wait for the Lord."
— Psalm 27:13-14
PATIENCE
I need to do some internal work around this. It is 100% internal, but it is a combination of issues, I think. How would you describe your level of patience (or impatience)? You can give it a number from 1-10, but I am referring more to what is driving it. How is your inner anxiety when you must wait? How restful is your soul? Are there certain areas where you are laid back and patient and others where you are as jumpy as a rabbit? How would you describe them and what makes them different?
While he was with them, he commanded them not to leave Jerusalem, but to wait for the Father’s promise. “Which,” he said, “you have heard me speak about; for John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit in a few days.
— Acts 1:4-5
What would it look like to be patient? Patience is a fruit of the Spirit which makes sense. If the Christian life is about waiting, then we will need the Spirit's indwelling power to do it well. It also makes sense that evil would want us to be impatient. Anything Godward would be patient. If God is sovereign and good and love, then trusting him would mean waiting patiently. Jesus was patient so becoming like him includes learning how to wait well. Galatians 4 speaks of "When the time reached its fulfillment God sent his Son..." God does things at the right time and is good to wait until that time comes. What would this mindset do for our waiting? But is it so simple?
"You are to be like people waiting for their master to return from the wedding banquet so that when he comes and knocks, they can open the door for him at once."
— Luke 12:36
What about this broken world? Are not we supposed to come against injustice and look to right wrongs and change our situation with the agency God gives us. Doesn't God empower us to act? How do we know when to sit back and wait patiently and when to work to change things or to do both or maybe to work for change but with a rested soul that trusts that God has the power and will do what's best. As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:10, he worked harder than everyone, but it was God, not him, doing the work. We are called to work diligently and vigilantly while trusting God for outcomes. How we do that is mysterious, and phrases like being full of the Spirit and in step with the Spirit and attuned to the Spirit attempt to describe it.
"We wait for the Lord;
he is our help and shield.
For our hearts rejoice in him
because we trust in his holy name.
May your faithful love rest on us, Lord,
for we put our hope in you."
— Psalm 33:20-22
FORMATION
Perhaps nothing shows our faith more clearly than how we wait which makes learning to wait vital as we grow in Christlikeness. We are waiting on Christ to return and usher in the End of this Age, but to think that we are unable to wait a few minutes in line or in traffic or behind someone who is incompetent but can wait patiently on Christ's return through all the ups and downs of life is nonsensical. I say this to my shame.
As I have made clear, I am the least qualified to write about this since I am still at a pre-school level in patience. If you know me, you may think that is an overstatement because I often seem calm. However, rather than faith filled, I feel the anxiety and stress and stuff it down to maintain a calm exterior. Of course, those who know me best, know that I often don't have a calm exterior. Our bodies do keep the score and the signs of my stress-stuffing ways show up in my labored breathing and perhaps in my aching back and my clinched jaw while sleeping. So, I seek the Lord for freedom and release and healing. I confess and repent and talk to friends and meet with a counselor and a spiritual director. I see slow growth. Where we are on the journey is not nearly as important as which direction we are heading. As I dig into these ideas, I find that formation calls me to go deeper and get to truth. God calls me to stop and slow down and consider and reflect and make space. He sends a gracious invitation and allows me and you to respond alone and together. Through worship and reading the Word and prayer and practices like gratitude and Lectio Divina and Examen and fasting and celebration and Sabbath and journalling and small groups we are awakened to a different way of life.
"Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for him;
do not be agitated by one who prospers in his way,
by the person who carries out evil plans."
— Psalm 37:7
LENSES & METAPHORS
He also calls us to examine our lenses, consider our worldviews and paradigms and mental models. How do we interpret the events happening around us? What assumptions are we making? What values are guiding us? How do we know what we don't know? As we grow in these things one fruit is deeper clarity. We assume something about the people in front of us and about what God is or isn't doing. Examining these guiding and motivating forces puts us in position to recalibrate and grow in compassion for ourselves and those around us.
"Therefore, brothers and sisters, be patient until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth and is patient with it until it receives the early and the late rains."
— James 5:7
I have mentioned this in previous posts, but it bears repeating. We need to regularly do metaphor audits. If we are using mechanistic metaphors - think things with engines or hard drives or electricity - especially when thinking about growth and change, then we will regularly be disappointed. No human changes or grows like a computer or car. Just replace the part or plug it in or add gasoline. That's not how humans work. Jesus uses organic metaphors for a reason. Plant a seed and watch the process of growth and change. If that is your metaphor, you won't be surprised when the change you seek takes months and years rather than weekends and workshops. This extends to all areas of life but is vital to think through if we want to grow as people who can wait well.
"I waited patiently for the Lord,
and he turned to me and heard my cry for help."
— Psalm 40:1
SOUL CARE
In addition, God leads us into our souls and the deep sources of motivation we tend to avoid or struggle to understand. We have each been formed. Our family of origin impacted us in manifold ways. We experienced trauma which dis-integrated us. The shards of these events keep us jumping around like kangaroos today. We are triggered or emotionally activated at the smallest slights and "go off" or over-react. Digging into these things and speaking truth (confession) takes us to a place of grace. God's call is to be curious and kind and as we do that, we see our soul move toward health and freedom and joy and love. For some of us, this requires a counselor while others find freedom through programs or friends or a pastor. We are fearfully and wonderfully made which means in part that we are incredibly complex and treating ourselves as such - no silver bullets or one-size-fits-all treatments - moves us forward.
On that day it will be said, “Look, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he has saved us. This is the Lord; we have waited for him. Let’s rejoice and be glad in his salvation.”
— Isaiah 25:9
COMMUNITY
All of this requires community. We need to walk with others who love Jesus and love us. Until we are with people who love us and who we love in line with God's love, we can't experience wholeness and freedom. It is how God made us; it is how our brains work. We are made for connection, to look people in the eyes and experience love.
The problem is that community often brings pain as well. We are human, and we will hurt each other. We must persevere. I speak from deep experience here. Community is the place where we experience the greatest pain and the greatest joy. We face a strong temptation when it is bad to run and hide and isolate. Fight that and push in. Don't stay in an abusive environment. Find a healthy one. Good community will teach us how to wait.
"The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the person who seeks him."
"It is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord."
— Lamentations 3:25-26
GROWTH & PARTS
I started the letter expressing my failure in this area. I spoke truly, but that isn't the whole story. I have grown in this area. In the car when I was so frustrated with the driver in front of me, Laurie noted how patient I am in some situations and how impatient in others. I am digging into this with the Lord and others. I am looking at my assumptions, my lenses, the parts of my person that are triggered in times where patience is difficult, what happens to me when I sit quietly for 15 minutes. It is good and hard work, but as Dallas Willard used to say, "Grace is opposed to earning, not effort." I am convinced it can't be explained simply as sin nor as response to trauma nor as personality but includes all of these. We are made up of many parts and coming to understand each of them is growth process.
"Don’t say, 'I will avenge this evil!' Wait on the Lord, and he will rescue you."
— Proverbs 20:22
"I will wait for the Lord, who is hiding his face from the house of Jacob. I will wait for him."
— Isaiah 8:17
"But I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me."
— Micah 7:7
BIBLICAL WAITING.
God continually calls us to wait in the Bible. Clearly, there is something about waiting on him that is good for us. Up to this point I have interspersed many verses about waiting. Now, let's look at some key passages on waiting in the NT and see if we can glean some lessons. One thing for sure is that the repeated exhortation to wait shows that we need to be reminded, and it must be difficult for us. The closer we get to our core, true self in Christ, the more waiting will be natural. As we are in our flesh, waiting goes against the grain. The fact that God calls us to wait tells us to push in and see what blessing is there. What do the NT authors teach us?
"I always thank my God for you because of the grace of God given to you in Christ Jesus, that you were enriched in him in every way, in all speech and all knowledge. In this way, the testimony about Christ was confirmed among you, so that you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ. He will also strengthen you to the end, so that you will be blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful; you were called by him into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord."
— 1 Corinthians 1:4-8
"Our citizenship is in heaven, and we eagerly wait for a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ."
— Philippians 3:20
These verses echoes what many of the passages throughout have said, our waiting is to be characterized by eagerness. This attitude keeps our priorities aligned with God's. This also will be seen in all of life. How I wait at a red light or in line at the grocery store reveals how parts of me are doing. My ability to center on Christ and let him calm my fears and anxieties is seen in times of waiting. This is a grace. I am not condemned but shown mercy. I simply need to take the opportunity to be with him.
But what does it mean to wait eagerly? What is the difference between impatience and eagerness. Being eager is hope-filled and optimistic and trusting. Impatience is entitled and complaining and ungrateful. I wait for my birthday celebration eagerly; I tend to wait for the red light to change or my patience to be Jesus-like impatiently.
Much more could be said but I'm not writing a book here, so I'll leave you with a few more passages to consider. Reflect on these and let them invade your thinking as you go through your days. I think the impact of meditating on these passages along with what I mentioned above will drip into our souls to move us towards Spirit-filled patience by God's empowering grace. May it be.
"For the word of the Lord rang out from you, not only in Macedonia and Achaia, but in every place that your faith in God has gone out. Therefore, we don’t need to say anything, for they themselves report what kind of reception we had from you: how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead—Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath."
— 1 Thessalonians 1:8-10
"For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, instructing us to deny godlessness and worldly lusts and to live in a sensible, righteous, and godly way in the present age, while we wait for the blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ."
— Titus 2:11-13
"And just as it is appointed for people to die once—and after this, judgment— so also Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him."
— Hebrews 9:27-28
"But the day of the Lord will come like a thief; on that day the heavens will pass away with a loud noise, the elements will burn and be dissolved, and the earth and the works on it will be disclosed. Since all these things are to be dissolved in this way, it is clear what sort of people you should be in holy conduct and godliness as you wait for the day of God and hasten its coming. Because of that day, the heavens will be dissolved with fire and the elements will melt with heat. But based on his promise, we wait for new heavens and a new earth, where righteousness dwells.
— 2 Peter 3:10-13
"But you, dear friends, as you build yourselves up in your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting expectantly for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ for eternal life. Have mercy on those who waver; save others by snatching them from the fire; have mercy on others but with fear, hating even the garment defiled by the flesh."
— Jude 1:20-23